Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

~ Ernest Hemingway

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.

~ Francis Scott Fitzgerald

I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it.

~ Raymond Chandler

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

~ Frank Sinatra

I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on.

~ Oscar Levant

No animal ever invented anything so bad as drunkeness - or so good as drink.

~ Lord Chesterton

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

~ W.C. Fields

Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector. It encourages a man to be expansive, even reckless, while lie detectors are only a challenge to tell lies successfully.

~ Graham Greene

Beer is the cause and solution to all of life's problems.

~ Homer Simpson

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

~ Henny Youngman

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

~ Winston Churchill

Teetotallers lack the sympathy and generosity of men that drink.

~ W.H. Davies

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.

~ Dean Martin

Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.

~ Phyllis Diller

One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.

~ James Thurber